I haven’t updated on my injured achilles lately as it’s much more fun to share Lucy’s rehab and recovery from her hip surgery. She is recovering well… and is at the “I feel good so I’m going to annoy you” stage. I wish I could say all is well with me but that wouldn’t be true. I can say that it feels much better, so it is healing. I have an appointment with a podiatrist October 6 and I’m hoping that it will end up being a “you’re good to go appointment.”
Meanwhile, not running hasn’t been very much fun. I am walking VERY SLOWLY as I do the necessary work to help Lucy recover. Ironically, if I were running I would be hard pressed to have the time to both run and slow walk. So, I guess this is a blessing. Together, Lucy and I, will walk about 20 miles this week, which isn’t bad. Usually I find walking to be very boring but now the walk is hyper focussed on whether or not Lucy is walking too fast and thus skipping…so the time passes quickly.
My other challenge is that I am struggling with my weight (if you’re new to me, I’ve lost lots of weight and thankfully kept it off and am always terrified of regaining it). Historically I eat when stressed and the last year and a half have certainly been stressful. Did you know that one response to trauma is to eat? We’ve all had trauma in one way or another this year.
I often advise people to keep a food diary…not to weigh and measure or count calories, but to just have an idea of what food is consumed and why. Hunger? Boredom? Food close by? Wanting something salty? Crunchy? I can relate! Those of us who struggle with weight have all kinds of reasons to eat that have nothing to due with actual hunger. I share this for two reasons.
First, because one of the best ways to deal with struggle is to share that you are struggling. This is often a hard step because many of us were raised with a kind of shame culture that leads us to hide the struggle…even attempts to hide weight gain. As if that were possible! Sometimes we even withdraw from others because of “how we look.” But those of you who struggle know what I am saying.
Second, because I want others who struggle with weight (or anything else) to know that you are worthy just as you are. You might want and need to make changes but those changes reflect health, not worth. This is important. I am worthy. You are worthy.
For me, I am trying to keep a food diary. This is helpful for me because I sometimes don’t like to write things down and that is incentive not to eat them. I am keeping unhealthy food away. And trying very hard to be nice to myself.
I’ll let you know soon how this is all working. Meanwhile, please know that regardless of whatever you are struggling with, you are worthy and awesome just the way you are.